A knock at my door this week gave me quite the mind trip afterward. Two Jehovah’s witnesses came to my door and at the time I thought nothing of it. When I opened the door to them (a male and female), the male immediately handed me a pamphlet and said “We’re inviting you to the death of Jesus.” I said a very robotic, “Thanks” took the pamphlet and closed my door not processing what was said, I just wanted these door knockers off my porch no matter what their sell was. Not 10 mins later, it registered to me that I was just invited to death. WTF?!?
My immediate reaction was to run down the road and ask if their approach had any consideration for what my life environment may be and tell them that if they were trying to ‘recruit’ me, so to speak, their flair for empathy, was the most ignorant I had seen. Religious beliefs aside.
I did not grow up in a religious home. My parents were not church going people. I was on baseball diamonds Sundays, either playing myself or watching my mom, sister, brother. NFL Sundays. Those were my Sundays. I’ve always struggled with religion and recently have contemplated trying to go into a church just to see how it makes me feel. To see if it does or has potential to help on some level. For myself and Jackson. My battle with a higher power has been an interesting one to say the least lately. I’m just not sure after all the shaking up of shit, what exactly I’m believing in again sometimes. Pieces are missing and though I am coping, I do know I need more. So does Jackson. Continuous learning is never a bad thing. It’s a touchy thing, religion. I’m an open thinker and believer for the most part. That we all bleed the same colour blood and that empathy bleeds love. Even if we disagree.
Ignorance is bliss to some. It can kill a lot. It has and does. From war to politics, personal relationships, the list goes on. Ignorance killed hope for me last year. I refuse to let it again. People are ignorant jerks sometimes. I concede to understand that I don’t have to agree or engage with those people. Boundaries are a great tool to have for that. Especially a physical one like a door that allows me to close the invitation to the death of Jesus at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday morning.
Ignorance has closed my heart off to a lot, made me hyper vigilant and given me a cold and dark sense of humour at times. I do not allow ignorance inside whenever possible. Be with those who are good for you, they say. I think ignorance has somewhat stolen my spontaneity, sense of security and even the ability to open myself intimately to any one or thing. There’s more, I’m sure. That’s where the missing really show to me though. It’s hard to process and heal through it all while parenting a grieving little boy as well. We don’t need ignorance. We, need love and understanding.
The Four agreements are such a simple moral ground base for me…
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
Basic life skills. 101. Thank you, Don Miguel Ruiz.
To the Jehovah witnesses that brought death to my door, no offense to you or your religious beliefs, but, Screw you!! We will be declining your invitation. I watched real death, it’s been at my door twice in very traumatic ways. It profoundly changed my everything and I don’t feel your religion is what I need to help me feel whole again. I’m almost inclined to send your organization a complaint but, I strongly feel it will fall on ignorant eyes and you’d still just try and push your beliefs on my situational needs so, I’ll find something more constructive to do with my time.
For now, my religion is love, kindness and empathy. I may be somewhat at war with my higher power, however, those 3 beliefs within myself will never change. We should celebrate and believe that we all are allowed to have our own higher power, whether or not we agree with others beliefs, or not. Whether its a religious belief or an opinion of the ignorant… you can have your say however, people do not have to listen nor do they have to care. Don’t be ignorant. Be open always to understand that we may all not ever find understanding, but, we can still be kind and respect difference. We can also appreciate those differences in peace. Life is a kaleidoscope of views.